Sins of Sevin Read online

  “What kind of business?”

  “Meat packing. I own a beef plant back in Dodge City. Sutton Provisions.”

  “You want me to take over your business when all I’ve been doing for the past year is shoveling horse shit?”

  He chuckled. “It wouldn’t be overnight. I’d take you under my wing for several years until you were ready. The company would also pay for business school.”

  “What’s the catch?”

  “Well, obviously, you’d have to move.”

  “That’s not a catch. Getting out of here is a major incentive. What’s the catch?”

  “There is something else. It’s not really a catch. At least, I’m hoping you won’t see it that way.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “I wouldn’t ask just anyone to take over my business—something I’ve worked for my entire life. You would have to be a part of my family. I don’t have a son of my own, Sevin. I have three daughters. Your father…he wanted the best for you. He knew you weren’t happy here, that you might be getting into some trouble. But I know you’re a good kid because you’re Brent’s son. This plan…it wasn’t supposed to come about so soon, but after Brent died, I didn’t think it should wait.”

  “What are you getting at?”

  “You met my daughter, Elle.”

  “Yeah…nice girl. What about her?”

  “Sevin, in our community, we don’t just let our daughters date men. The women are courted.”

  “Courted?”

  “Yes. As a father, it’s my responsibility to find a good Christian man to court my daughter with the best of intentions.”

  “What does that involve?”

  “Well, one thing it does not involve is physical contact of any kind. Under this scenario, a young man spends several months getting to know the girl. Then, eventually, if he’s far away, he would move closer and outings would be chaperoned.”

  “What if I don’t want to court Elle?”

  “Then, this situation wouldn’t work.”

  “That’s part of the deal with this job?”

  He hesitated. “Yes.”

  “You talked about this with my father?”

  “Yes. He wanted this life for you.”

  “So, what happens if the courting doesn’t work out?”

  “Sevin, I can’t give up my empire to someone who isn’t even a part of my family.”

  “So, we’re not just talking about spending time with Elle. When you say court, you really mean—”

  “Marry,” he interrupted. “You would marry my daughter.”

  CHAPTER 3

  SEVIN

  The phone rang every night at the exact same time. It was cute how consistent she was. It wasn’t even necessary to look at the caller I.D.

  “Hey, Ellebell.”

  “Hi. What are you up to?”

  “Just starting to pack up some things, actually.”

  “You don’t move out here for another month, though. I thought you said you don’t have that much stuff.”

  “I guess I’m just a little eager to get outta here.”

  Elle and I had been talking on the phone every day for three months. After Lance and she left the house that first day, I spent a couple of weeks mulling over his offer before accepting. Agreeing to marry someone I didn’t even know seemed like an insane thing to do at first. But in the end, the opportunity handed to me on a silver platter was really hard to turn down. My outlook was also different now since Dad dropped dead of a heart attack. I wanted to change my life, be a better person to honor his memory…basically, stop fucking around.

  The timing of this opportunity seemed to be heaven sent. It felt like a now or never situation. I kept telling myself that I could always back out if it didn’t feel right. With each day, though, it seemed to make more sense.

  For one, the fact that I didn’t know Elle enough to love her was irrelevant. I had no desire to fall so crazy in love with someone that losing them caused me the same kind of irreparable damage my father experienced after my mother died. I was too young then to remember much about the years before Lillian but not too young to know that my mother’s death wrecked my father.

  Even though a part of me wanted to experience the intensity of love just once in my life, it wasn’t worth the risk. Having a healthy mutual respect was more important to me. Love was fucking crazy. Marriage, on the other hand, was basically just a business arrangement. Elle made it easy to want to follow through with it. She was sweet as hell and easy enough to talk to. If I did end up falling in love with her, then I’d deal with that when it came. If I didn’t, then at least no one would get hurt, and there was some good in that, too. Things were moving a little faster than they probably should have, but then again, nothing about this situation was typical.

  “Well, I know Daddy is really eager about you coming out here. He says he’s gonna put you to work before you even take your coat off.”

  “Seriously, anything will be better than working at the stables. You might not want to marry me right now if you knew what I smelled like.”

  “There is nothing that would make me not want to marry you, Sevin Montgomery.”

  “Really? Nothing? What if I were secretly a serial killer?”

  “Of animals or humans?”

  “Humans.”

  “Then, there could be a problem. But Daddy is a hunter, and I love him. So, animals would be okay.”

  “He hunts? Really?”

  “Yes. He’ll probably want to take you out sometime with him.”

  Shit. That better not have been another job requirement. It was then that it really hit me that I’d be working for a fucking beef plant, and that meant that I was essentially going into the business of dead animals. I’d have to suck that up, but there was no way I was going to kill one myself. Wow. I guess I did have some morals. I could look into another man’s eyes after fucking his wife, but shooting a bunny for enjoyment was out of the question.

  I changed the subject. “So, tell me what else there is to do in Dodge City besides killing animals.”

  “We have a movie theater.”

  “Man, that sounds exciting. You’re killing me here. I can’t get there fast enough.”

  She laughed. “Honestly, it’s really not the most exciting place to live.”

  If Elle weren’t so conservative, I might have flirted with her and told her that I could think of a number of things we could do to pass the time there together. But after three months of feeling her out, I knew better. Maybe once we were formally engaged, I would test the waters a little more. I planned to give her my mother’s engagement ring soon after I got out there. The marquise diamond had two small sapphires on each side. It was one of the pieces of jewelry my father had stashed away in that box. He hadn’t officially given it to me, but I was taking it. Anyway, the ring was just a formality. It was pretty much understood that my moving meant Elle and I were definitely getting married.

  Swallowing the urge to say something suggestive, I said, “Well, you’re lucky I like you. It won’t matter what we’re doing.”

  “I really can’t wait to start a life with you, Sevin.”

  I knew that she meant it, even though I couldn’t quite figure out what exactly it was she saw in me. Our conversations never ran deep enough for her to know the real me. She probably wouldn’t want to marry that guy. So, was it physical attraction? Whatever it was, I knew she was the type of girl who would be loyal. She would worship me. She’d be a good wife. Yet, there was a part of me that wanted to shake her, wishing she’d just tell me a dirty secret, cuss, tell me that she couldn’t wait to fuck me or just tell me to fuck off once in a while.

  “We’ll be good together, Ellebell. You have a very calming way about you. You don’t let anything get to you. I need someone like that to balance me out. It’s been a tough year. I’ve had a lot of anger inside of me. But meeting you has been the best thing to happen to me in a really long time.”

  She was silent
for a while before she said, “I love you, Sevin.”

  Elle hadn’t ever used those words before. My heart started to pound because I honestly didn’t know how to respond.

  When I didn’t say anything, she continued, “I know it’s maybe too early to say that, and it’s a little strange because we haven’t even spent physical time together. But it’s how I feel. I truly believe becoming your wife is God’s will for me.”

  Wow. That was profound, but I just couldn’t tell her I loved her. I wasn’t there yet. But I didn’t want to insult her or lie to her.

  “That’s one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me. I hope I can live up to that.”

  I was gonna damn well try.

  ***

  My last month at home in Oklahoma flew by. The time was spent saying final goodbyes to friends and co-workers at the stables and spending some quality time with my little brothers, which was not typical of me. I also researched the hell out of the meatpacking industry so that I didn’t seem like a total idiot walking into Lance’s company on the first day.

  The final day before I had to leave, I made sure to seize the small box my father kept hidden away which contained my mother’s jewelry and the naked sketch I’d found long ago. I was packing up the last of my things when Luke, the oldest of my half-brothers, walked in.

  “Hey, buddy.”

  “Don’t forget us, Sevin.”

  “I promise. I won’t. You guys have each other, though. Stick together like you always do. Just remember that someday if you figure out that things aren’t exactly the way Lillian taught you, you can always come to me wherever I am. There will always be a safe place for you.”

  There was a reason why I chose to say that to him. I had more than a strong inkling that Luke didn’t exactly share my vast appreciation of the female form. His mannerisms and some of the questions he would ask led me to believe that he was gay. And knowing how Lillian was, that scared the living shit out of me. I’d heard the way she spewed hate toward gay people, and I’d study the look of fear and shame on his face whenever he’d hear her talk negatively about them. If there was only one reason to stay behind in this hell hole, it was to protect Luke from her wrath. He’d once asked me why gay people were going to hell if God made them that way. That was when I knew. But Luke was only thirteen now and didn’t seem ready to admit his sexuality to anyone.

  I placed my hands firmly on his shoulders and looked him straight in the eyes. “You can come to me with anything, alright? Anything.”

  “Thank you. I’ll remember that.” He hugged me tightly. “I’ll miss you.”

  “I’ll miss you too, Luke. I’m sorry I’ve always been a shitty brother. Just know my attitude here had nothing to do with you. I love you.”

  Those three words had come out very easily, and that shocked me. It was the first time I’d ever used that term toward one of my brothers. It felt right in that moment. When I spotted the tears in Luke’s eyes, it only confirmed I’d made the right decision. Poor kid had probably been starving for my affection all these years, and I’d chosen to give it to him only because I was walking out of his life.

  “I love you too, Sevin.”

  ***

  The next morning, I’d quickly gone to put gas in my father’s old Ford 100 pickup, which I inherited after he died. I prayed hard that it would make it all the way to Kansas without breaking down. As soon as I started earning some real money, the first purchase would be a new car.

  I’d packed most of the large boxes into the truck already and was just doing a final inspection of my room when Lillian entered.

  “I’m checking in to see if you’re all set.”

  “Yup. I’m all ready to go. Just taking a last look around.”

  “I really am proud of you for making the right decision. Your father is surely smiling down from heaven that you’ve found a nice Christian girl and that you’ll be living the kind of life that the Lord intended for you.”

  “I guess,” I said, packing the last of my smaller items and keepsakes.

  “Let me help you carry these last two containers downstairs.” She lifted one of the boxes.

  “No! Don’t touch that.”

  As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I knew I’d made a big mistake. Playing it cool would have been the smart move. Instead, Lillian was now clearly aware that there was something in there I didn’t want her to see.

  Her eyes slowly moved toward mine in a suspicious side glance. “What exactly are you hiding in here that would cause such a knee jerk reaction?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Then surely you won’t mind my taking a look?”

  “Actually, I do—”

  Before I could plead with her, she opened the box.

  Fuck.

  She placed the box down on the bed and covered her mouth with one hand, lifting one of the sheets of paper with the other. “What is this, Sevin?”

  “It’s exactly what it looks like.”

  She sifted through the pile. “This is sick. Who…who are these women?”

  “They’re not real.”

  “They look real to me.”

  “Thank you.”

  “That wasn’t a compliment,” she shouted.

  A slight nervous laughter escaped me. “What do you want me to say?”

  “I want you to explain why you have all of these drawings of naked women in this box when you’re about to be entering into a marriage with someone who is pure and innocent. This is disgraceful!”

  I looked into her eyes—something I rarely did—and said honestly, “I think they’re beautiful.”

  “How do you think your father would feel if he saw this?”

  Digging inside the other remaining box, I located the sketch my father had drawn of my mother all those years ago. Then, I walked over to Lillian and handed it to her.

  “Here’s your answer, a parting gift from Dad.” My voice was shaky. “You thought you destroyed all traces of her, didn’t you? But as you can see…I learned from the best.”

  I grabbed the last two boxes, leaving her with nothing but the picture of a naked Rose as I walked out the door and never looked back.

  CHAPTER 4

  SEVIN

  “Good girl.” I patted the dash of the old truck. Entering the final stretch of the long drive down US-281, I thanked my lucky stars that she hadn’t broken down.

  Off the highway, I continued down a long seemingly endless dirt road that was supposed to lead to the Suttons’ ranch. The area reminded me of a wild frontier straight out of an old Western movie. I had actually read that the show Gunsmoke was filmed right in Dodge City.

  On top of all this, my truck decided to start backfiring every once in a while. So, it was easy to imagine that I was in the middle of a gunfight. Maybe, I was just delirious after six hours in the car. After tearing through all of the snacks I’d brought, I was getting hungry. And horny.

  I was so fucking horny.

  I hadn’t been with anyone since Candace—the day my father died. And I knew that it was going to be several months before Elle and I were married. So, my hand and I would have to get even more acquainted than we already were. Thank God I’d have my own private space to take care of things. The small guesthouse next door to the Sutton residence was going to be my temporary home until Elle and I moved out after the wedding.

  It was about five in the afternoon, and the sun was still shining brightly. A set of white wind turbines were the first sign of movement after miles of driving down the vast open space.

  Eventually, there were more signs of life: cattle on the sides of the road, an occasional car passing by, and some houses began to sparsely appear. Grateful for the daylight, I couldn’t imagine breaking down out here in the middle of the night because there seemed to be no such thing as a cell phone tower in these parts. I hadn’t had service since exiting the highway. It was a good thing I had written directions instead of relying solely on the GPS app on my phone. I estimated that I only
had a few miles left.

  Something began to move toward me in the distance. At first, it looked like it could have been a stallion galloping with strands of wild black hair blowing in the wind. As it got closer, I realized it was a girl on a bicycle. She slowed down as she approached my truck, and I followed suit. Our eyes locked for a few brief seconds as she passed me in what seemed like slow motion. My eyes stayed glued to the rearview mirror as she rode into the distance. When my truck suddenly backfired, I hit the brakes after I noticed that she’d crashed the bike and had fallen onto the dirt road.

  Shit!

  I put the truck in reverse, backed up and rushed out to help her.

  “Are you okay? Let me help you up.”

  “No, no, no. I’m fine,” she said as she got up without looking at me.

  “You had me scared there for a minute. What happened to you?”

  She seemed to stop to catch her breath for a second after she finally looked me in the eyes. I wasn’t sure what it meant. Framed by the heavy raven strands of hair was a stunning face now covered in dirt. She looked around my age.

  She finally spoke, “It was your truck. When it backfired, it scared the bejeezus out of me. It sounded like a gunfight at the O.K. Corral.”

  “Yeah. I know. It’s funny you say that. I thought the same thing earlier. But I’ve just gotten used to it.”

  “That clunker is a hazard.”

  “It’s not a clunker. It’s a classic, actually.”

  “Oh, I know. That’s a ‘56 Ford 100.”

  “Very good. How could you tell what year it was?”

  “You were wearing a seatbelt when I drove by you. The ‘56 was the first model where a seatbelt was an option.”

  “Wow. Impressive.”

  “Why is that?”

  “Most girls wouldn’t know that.”

  “Well, I’m not most girls. And I happen to know a lot more about cars than just that.”